Here I am finally tryin to write down my sorrows without knowing exactly what to say. I guess I really do tend to think a lot when I have nothing to do...the past, present, future... It's scary to the point where everything just ends up being in a mess in my head...like as if I'm a soul being taken over by my body, instead of the other way around.
I love Christmas...was hoping to spend it with him though it seems like a Christmas with jus friends. I guess it's true wat they say. The question now is "Who is my friend?" or should I say, "Who am I a friend to?" Am I jus some bitch who jus wants everything done her way in the end? Hell...why is it I can always try my best to find and try to acheive what others want in life but not even knowing what I myself want? Do I not love myself? Yes I do but to the extend of others.
Honestly I dunno what I'm trying to say anymore...all I know is that what I'm saying's unreasonable and I guess it is something no one can solve but me...
But why do I feel that the only way for me to solve it is to jus be a bitch?
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